We’re horribly mundane, aggressively mundane individuals. We’re the ninjas of the mundane, you might say.
— Andy Partridge
Because I know you’re dying to “watch” me sit at home all day. Here’s what’s happened so far:
7:00 am: Alarm goes off, hit snooze, notice the mild headache I went to bed with has morphed into a full-blown migraine overnight, cover my head with pillow
7:05 am: Alarm goes off again, hit snooze, moan in pain
7:10 am: Alarm goes off, get up, fully intending to hit the shower, realize there’s no way I’m going to make it into work, pop 3 Advil, crawl back into bed, email boss to say I won’t be in
7:50 am: David leaves for work; I wish he could have stayed home with me – not that I need taking care of, but the company would be nice. Roll to his side of the bed and cover my head with the pillow, attempting to block out all light
8:30 am: Wake up, toss and turn, try to put pressure on the eye the pain is behind, can’t get comfortable
9:45 am: Wake up again, migraine still in full effect, decide sleep will not happen until it’s gone; check Facebook, announce sick status to elicit sympathy, check email
10:00 am: Decide to eat to see if that will help before turning to emergency stash of Excedrin (since I’m not supposed to have caffeine); go downstairs, make cream of wheat and grab a soda; head back upstairs intending to order a movie on demand that David would never agree to watch with me
10:23 am: Get sucked into John and Kate Plus Eight on TLC, which I have honestly never watched before (but know the details of the latest saga because, well, I can read, and they’ve been all over the news lately)
10:30: New episode of JK+E; enjoy the irony of TLC replaying their trip to Hawaii to renew their vows, which Kate tells the kids they’re doing to show them they’ll “be together forever, no matter what.” Head pounding.
11:00 am: TLC switches to What Not to Wear, and I consider watching, since the subject is a man, and I’ve only ever seen them makeover women but the episode doesn’t hold my interest; check On Demand movies, see nothing worthwhile
11:05 am: Commence channel surfing; wonder when “midday news” started at 11 instead of noon on the local channels, decide it was probably about the time the “early” evening news moved from 5 pm to 4:30); stop briefly on The View, watch the ladies recapping the Michael Jackson memorial
11:15 am: Come across Forces of Nature on TBS; I own this movie and can watch it whenever I want, but I love it, and there’s nothing else on, so here we are. Head still pounding; seriously considering taking the Excedrin.
Noon: Movie’s over; I only half-watched and tried to sleep during the commericals – no luck. Channel surfing.
12:11 pm: Came across Tour de France on Versus; nothing else on, really, might as well watch ridiculously fit men cycle through Provence (or wherever the hell they are); I don’t understand all about time trials and sprints and peletons, but apparently Lance Armstrong is essentially tied for first, just a fraction of a second behind the leader. It’s weird not to see him in the yellow jersey.
12:20 pm: G-chatting with David at work; just like any other day, really, except that I’m in bed instead of at work and I feel like I got run over by a truck. This sucks. But I’m glad David talked me into putting the extra TV in our room instead of the guest room. So convenient.
12:57 pm: Decide laying in bed trying to sleep is making it worse because I’m focusing on the pain; get up, get dressed, pop one Excedrin (hoping it’s enough to do the trick – I hate taking it because I always run the risk of getting hooked on caffeine again), gather my computer and breakfast dishes and head downstairs; just about time for lunch.
1:03 pm: Open the vertical blinds to the balcony, notice that some creature has, for the first time since we’ve been growing stuff out there, stolen a ripe tomato off the Roma tomato plant, eaten half and left the other half in the dirt. Jerk. Notice my poor petunias – which just two weeks ago were huge, overgrown, and lush – are now very small, thin, and dried out. I’m not sure what the problem is, because we water them every day, and they were totally fine before, but I notice the soil is very dry, so I water them and the other flowers (the Alyssum have also begun to die, again inexplicably, though the geraniums are still going strong) copiously, hoping it’s not too late. I wish I had taken pictures of them when they were so full and in bloom – you would have been proud of me.
1:17 pm: Realize that I can have my usual Wednesday lunch – grilled cheese and chili from the takeout place in the lobby of my office building – at home because we have canned chili (moved from David’s old place and never eaten) and American cheese (which I never buy, but did this weekend for the 4th) and am totally psyched. Pico, who never heard a can open and thought there not might not be something in it for him, rushes to the kitchen, only to be sorely disappointed. I think he was hoping for creamed corn.
1:59 pm: Just finished two excellent grilled cheese sandwiches and a bowl of chili, the Excedrin has started to kick in, and I’m watching Brick, which TiVo kindly recommended. Once this is over, I suspect I’ll have some energy to get up and moving, maybe even go for a walk or to the gym. Maybe. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
3:36 pm: Brick is over – good, but disturbing and sad. Channel surfing has led to Yentl, right at the scene where Barbra Streisand reveals to Mandy Patankin that she’s a woman. I saw this movie as a kid, and I didn’t understand how she ever passed for a man to begin with. Still don’t. Boobs! Well, impliedly. Mandy is PISSED. Oh! Babs confesses that she loves Mandy. His heart is melting. He’s just relieved to find out he’s not gay. He loves her, too. Make out session ensues. Ok, just a chaste kiss, because Mandy all of a sudden remembers Babs’ wife! Too bad I came in too late to see how she avoided consummating her marriage. Now Mandy wants to marry Babs, but he wants her to give up her studying because women should keep house. Babs is not having it. Babs is leaving town, and leaving a note for her wife with Mandy. This is the precursor of Berger dumping Carrie by Post-It, I think. Now the final wave as they part, and in voice over, we see Mandy has taken up with Babs’ wife, and everyone seems to think this is grand. Babs is on a boat, presumably headed for America, and wait – she’s singing! Papa, can you hear me? I don’t think so, honey, because it doesn’t even appear that the other people on the boat can hear you. Try harder.
4:14 pm: Headache is mostly gone, but I’m exhausted. I have my counseling appointment at 6, so I’m going to try to nap for 45 minutes and then get ready.
5:33 pm: Man, the nap knocked me out – it took me a while to fall asleep, and then I didn’t want to get up. That always happens to me; I’m not really a nap person anymore, not like I was in college. The shower did wonders, though, and I feel pretty good. Now I’m off for my appointment, and so I must conclude the liveblogging of my sick day! Thanks for joining me!