Ways In Which I Am Crazy

When we see the prejudices and oddities of our friends we realize that we are that rare thing, a perfectly sane and normal person. But strange to say our friends do not agree with us.
— from Thoughts in a Dry Season, by Gerald Brenan

1. I hate for my email inbox to contain more than 4 items at any one time (though it often does)

2. I can’t stand banana-flavored anything, but I regularly eat bananas themselves

3. I make my bed before I get out of it

4. I always eat Starburst in a particular order – cherry, orange, lemon, strawberry (this also requires that I eat Starburst only in multiples of four)

5. I eat the edges off the Fig Newtons first

6. I can’t sleep with my feet outside the blanket, and even having socks on does not fool my body into believing my feet are covered

7. I must always walk on the right side of people (this is a remnant from when I could only hear in my left ear, but I still do it now even though my implant is on the right side)

8. My movies and CDs are all arranged alphabetically, but my books are not

Come on, spill: what silly things make people think you’re crazy?


8 thoughts on “Ways In Which I Am Crazy

  1. I do not like to get my hands wet. This makes dishwashing especially hard, but it gets crazy looks for the way I eat. Any food item that has moisture as a characteristic, I eat with a utensil. Sometimes I will make exceptions for fries or chips. I end up using copious amounts of napkins. I also dislike hand lotion for the wetness factor.

    I have a process to my showering. Get wet, wash hair, wash face, rinse face, rinse hair, apply conditioner to hair, wash body parts (in order), rinse hair, rinse body parts. If I shave my legs, it gets done after the body parts are washed.

    I can’t sleep without a cover – sheet, blanket, comforter, etc. I can’t even fall asleep in a recliner unless I have a blanket.

    I will not put on a pair of socks that have already been worn. This might sound obvious, but it makes the idea of changing clothes to workout at lunch and then changing back a laundry nightmare.

  2. Clutter makes me lose my ever lovin’ mind.
    We have a counter extention in the kitchen and it’s where things get dropped. The mail, glasses, lunch bags. And I cannot go to bed at night if it is cluttered or the if the kitchen is messy.
    If I do go to bed when it’s like that, I will wake up and won’t be able to stop thinking about cleaning the kitchen.

    I have to fold my towels in half, then thirds. I’ve tried to teach Brien (my husband) he just can’t get it.

    Clothes in the closet must hang fronts facing left, no exceptions!
    I think this is from years of retail!

    And forget about a messy store when I’m shopping! Must straighten racks.

  3. I do that with the Fig Newtons. I eat Twix candybars similarly – eat the caramel off the top, then the cookie part. Same dissection for a Kit Kat.

    Closet – Top shelf, left to right, tops are in rainbow order than from long sleeve to sleeveless within a color family. All must be facing the same way (facing left).

    Sink can NOT be full of dishes. I hate that (my husband doesn’t mind – this is a huge source of frustration for BOTH of us).

    CDs- alphabetized (the kids pull them off the shelf though, so this quirk is on temporary hiatus because it takes a long time to redo it after they trash it).

    I hate regular cheese. If it’s melted, I’m good but I can’t just eat cold cheese. The texture squidges me out.

  4. Colleen and Lyrically, of COURSE the clothes all have to be facing left! How else would they be??

    See, so many of these things are so “normal” to me that it never occurred to me that they might be weird:

    No dishes in the sink? Why would you ever need to leave them there? If the dishwasher is full, rinse the dish and put it on the counter. Duh.

    Who can go to bed with clutter? (I’m totally Monica, and I always think of that episode where they were all ragging on her about having to have everything in its place, and so she left her shoes in the living room overnight to show them she wasn’t so anal, but she couldn’t sleep and decided she’d go out and get them, then get up early and sneak them back out to the living room! I’m not *that* bad, but it’s probably not far off.)

    Lydia, I think everyone has a shower ritual; I know I do: body (in a particular order), shampoo, conditioner, face. If I shave, I wash my face while the shampoo is in my hair, then shave one leg while the conditioner is working, then the other after I rinse the conditioner. (My future husband just went screaming in the opposite direction!)

    And Lyrically, don’t you know it’s cheese that makes the world go ’round?

  5. I can’t make decisions or take actions without building databases.

    I have a lot of quirky things that I do, but they all come down to that. If I don’t actually make a database – and I’m not talking flimsy little Excel spreadsheets here, I’m talking about relational databases with commands and events and the whole 9 yards – then I at least build one in my brain. I code loops in my head for each towel that I fold when I am doing laundry. My process for getting dressed is an SQL query.

    I used to list out my quirks as separate things. Can’t go to the grocery store without the perfectly formatted list, can’t do a project without calculating cost per man hour, etc. But it’s all really one big problem: Databases.

    And I wasn’t even that good at it in college.

  6. I eat the chocolate off of most candy first — Snickers, Resses, Milky Ways. I even east the chocolate off of peanut M & Ms.

    If I light a candle, I have to touch the wick after its blown out, or else I can’t sleep.

    I have photo albums in chronological order. If I want to frame a picture or use it in a scrapbook, I have to order a reprint. I can’t have gaps in my photo album.

    I have to go to the bathroom every time I go to a bookstore or card store. And, for a while, after Mile One on the treadmill. Even if I just went.

  7. Julie, my photo albums are in chronological order as well, but I do have some gaps because I’m too lazy to make reprints. It is one of those little things that bothers me, though; I suppose when it bothers me enough, I’ll do something about i!

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