The Unexpected

Let us make pregnancy an occasion when we appreciate our female bodies.
— Merete Leonhardt-Lupa

So I have a blogging problem. When I get an idea for a post, it’s like I can’t post anything else until that post is written and published. Sometimes that’s ok. But the post I’m currently working on is massive – I’m trying to figure out if it’s better as a series of posts – and is taking a long time to write because the subject matter is a bit sensitive. So I haven’t posted anything else in the meantime because, as I said, I have a blogging problem

Screw that.

Pregnancy is weird, you guys. It’s not just that your body changes and you’re tired all the time and you can’t tie your shoes anymore (but seriously, 20 weeks is all I get before I can’t bend at the waist?). For me, it’s also completely changing how I look at my body.

Obviously, I started out heavy. I thought I would worry about gaining too much weight – as big as I was pre-pregnancy, I shouldn’t gain more than 10-15 pounds – but what’s actually happened is (a) I basically eat whatever I want, (b) the things I want generally do not include sweets (for real, I’ve had ice cream in my freezer for a week and eaten exactly 1 level scoop), and (c) I’m down three pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.

That’s not bragging – in fact, I worry about it, though my doctor says as long as I’m keeping food down and not trying to lose weight, I’m good – it’s disbelief. The weight loss isn’t from morning sickness, either. Although I’ve had nausea and food aversions (mostly to sweets and meat), thankfully I haven’t had to deal with vomiting. The weight loss has come from not eating sweets like it’s my job the way I did before and from not stuffing myself. It’s as if pregnancy flipped the switch in my brain that allows me to eat like a normal person. I’ve left more food on plates in the last 20 weeks than I probably have in the last 20 years. I can’t overeat; it’s like there simply isn’t room. I really hope this sticks around post-pregnancy.

The other thing is, I do not worry about how I look. I mean, I care about looking presentable, but I don’t feel bad about what I see in the mirror before I leave the house anymore. My belly is rounder but probably still not obviously pregnant to most people, and still I don’t worry about wearing a shirt that’s too clingy around my midsection the way I used to. (And I’d like to sing the praises of maternity pants for just a second – so freaking comfortable.) It’s amazing how much easier it is to get dressed in the morning when I’m not worried about whether what I’m wearing makes me look fat (not sure why I wasted so much time on this before since, you know, it’s kind of indisputable that I am, in fact, fat). It’s really, really freeing.

Our anatomy scan is next Friday, finally! I know it’s for the purpose of measuring the baby’s organs and brain and bones and looking for any abnormalities, but I really hope baby gives up the goods on whether it’s a boy or a girl. David and I agreed to wait to discuss names until we know the sex, because we figure that eliminates half the conversation, plus, I’m just so curious! In the end, though, as long as baby’s healthy, we’ll be thrilled.

Hopefully it won’t be five weeks before I post again. No promises, though!


3 thoughts on “The Unexpected

  1. That is great. You will probably end up like this woman I know who was 20 pounds lighter post pregnancy. In my completely non-medical opinion, you have nothing to worry about. And they will tell you at that (exciting!!!) growth scan next week if s/he is the right size and all. Glad you are feeling well. 🙂

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