She loved the big, proud bodies of the women in the choir, and how they could swing, and how planted on the earth they seemed, with no apology for taking up so much space. It was as if they assumed they were beautiful, and only needed to decide what color to dress the beauty in.
— from Blue Shoe, by Anne LaMott
Another week, another failure of . . . willpower? Determination? Giveafuck? I don’t know. But once again, when I weigh in tomorrow, I’m going to show a gain. I hate this. I hate myself like this. And yet, given the choice between, say, chocolate or an apple for a snack, or going to the gym or coming home and screwing around on the internet, I nearly always choose chocolate and the internet. I’m so tired of being tired of this.
I don’t know how to start making better choices. I don’t know how to commit to something, for real, long term. I mean, just DO it, is the short answer, but how? I can string together days, even a week or two of good habits, but somehow I always get off track.
I think I need to have something to work for, besides just losing weight. For example, I realized once Couch to 5k training ended weeks before the 5k, which isn’t until the 22nd of this month, that if I didn’t have something to keep me going, I would just quit running altogether. So I signed up for a local series of 5k Fridays – a 5k each Friday evening in April! That’s kept me running at least twice a week (though I haven’t done anything else). I did the first one this past week and finished in 45:00 exactly. For me, that’s amazing – my mile splits were 14:29, more than a minute faster than anything I did in training!
Once April’s over, though, I don’t have anything to work for. I don’t think I’m interested in running longer distances – it’s all I can do to stave off boredom in a 5k. I could maybe do a 10k, but that’s not what’s next for me, I’ve decided. I think what I’m going to work towards is a sprint triathlon. I first read about this mysterious thing on Big Life, Little Blog, and it planted a seed. I didn’t even know there was such a thing – I thought all triathlons were those crazy Ironman ones, where you swim 2.5 miles, ride 112 miles, and then your insane ass runs a marathon. That would probably kill me. But a sprint tri? This one, in particular? I can totally do that.
I can already swim 300 yards, bike 12 miles, and run a 5k. The challenge for me will be doing those things in succession and in anything resembling a decent time. Practically speaking, the biggest hurdle for me will be finding a pool and getting there regularly to train. I love swimming, so much, and I’m excited to get back in the water.
So, I’m telling you here: I’m doing this. I need to do some more research and figure out a training program, which I will post here, for accountability purposes. Come September 17th, I’ll be able to call myself a triathlete!