“But there I go again, looking for words to fill up a blank space.”
— J, May 10, 1994
You guys, I’ve got nothing. I mean, I could tell you about how I went to Greensboro last weekend to visit my grandma and came home with her bicycle, which I’ve since ridden several times (after replacing the tubes and buying a purple helmet) after not riding in years, and how I covet her new GPS system, and how we went to the farmer’s market and I’m now growing tomatoes on my balcony, and how when I was at Home Depot today I got inspired and bought a 36-inch planter and some Alyssum to grow out there, too. I could tell you about that.
But the truth is, there’s only one thing on my mind and no matter what else I do, it’s all I can think about. I’m working on finding a solution, one that’s both honest (for my sake) and respectful (for his), but I don’t know how long that will take. Which is not to say that I won’t be back until then, only that I’m sad right now and it’s hard for me to write good, carefree, fun stuff (even though there is some of that happening) when I’m sad.
I want to tell you that I appreciate all of the comments and advice I’ve received – you’ve all given me a lot to think about. If you think of anything else, don’t hesitate to share it. Thanks for understanding.