One thing I know for sure, though, is that when you are hungry, it is an act of wisdom each time you turn down a spoonful if you know that the food is poisoned.
— from Operating Instructions, by Anne LaMott
So, um, I think I might be in love. It’s been a very long time since I’ve thought that about anyone, so I’m not positive, but here are the symptoms:
I’ve known him since September – we work in the same place, and he is by far my best friend at work, and he’s one of my favorite people generally. I think about him all the time, and when he’s not at work and I don’t get to talk to him, I miss him. When we spend time together, I feel very happy – he’s so smart and he makes me laugh constantly. I feel like the best version of myself when I’m with him. When something happens – good or bad, important or trivial – he’s the first person I want to tell. He’s probably going to get a new job soon, and Saturday when I thought about him leaving this job and us not talking every day anymore, I cried.
So you tell me – is that love? I’ve been feeling this way for months now, and I assumed it was just a crush, and I hoped it would go away, but it hasn’t, and Saturday, on a long drive with tons of time to think, it all of a sudden hit me that I might love him.
And the thing is, whatever it is, it sucks. It’s not a good thing. It’s complicated, and messy, and perhaps not reciprocated – and even if it is, we can’t do anything about it because my timing could not be worse – and I don’t really understand it in the first place, and I really shouldn’t even be thinking about him like that. But I am. And it’s killing me.
And I know myself: I won’t suffer long in silence. Sooner or later, I’m going to feel compelled to tell him, or ask him if he has any feelings for me, and whether he does or not, if he is the person I know him to be, he’s going to have to say no, and then everything will be all fucked up and I could lose the only real friend I have here. And that I could not handle.
So here’s what I need from you guys: surefire ways to get over someone you know you can’t be with, whatever the reason.