Reverb10: Day 11 – 11 Things

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
— Dale Carnegie

Still catching up.  Saturday’s prompt takes a lot of thought:

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

Eleven things?  That is a ton of things. And they’re supposed to be things I don’t need in 2011? Seems kind of pessimistic, doesn’t it? Why aren’t we thinking about 11 things our lives do need in 2011?  But I’m game – what the hell:

1. 25 pounds.  More really, at least twice that, but I’m a realistic girl.  And also lazy.

2. Anxiety.  I worry about everything, especially my relationship, which is so silly.  We’re solid and stable and committed, yet my mind always drifts to the “what-ifs.”  I definitely need to get back to at least monthly sessions with my counselor to work on this.

3. Not getting enough sleep.  I intermittently institute a firm 11:30 lights out policy on weeknights, but after a few days, or even a week, something happens and I get off schedule.  Then I’m exhausted at work and don’t feel like making good choices about eating or exercising, which turns into a vicious cycle.  I need to keep trying to stick to this.

4. Caffeine.  I know I’m not supposed to have it (doctor’s orders), but lately, I’ve been so careless with it, ordering iced tea or diet soda when I don’t feel like just having water, and I’m paying for it.  I’ve missed several days of work in the past several months due to migraines that are caused by caffeine (and the subsequent withdrawal when I try to get back on track).  I cannot take liberties with my body that way.  Just say no.

5. Negative self-talk.  A lot of people are putting this on their lists, so it appears to be a very common problem.  It’s no secret that I can be very hard on myself, and while I think it’s great to have high expectations, the language I use in my head when I don’t succeed or when something doesn’t turn out right, or when I just don’t do something I should is really damaging.  I would never let someone get away with talking to one of my friends the way I talk to myself, so why do I continue to berate myself this way?  I think the first step is to become aware of it when it’s happening – it’s become such second nature to me that I often don’t even notice.  Once I am aware of it, I need to reassess what’s going on and try to find a kinder way to talk to myself.  This one is big.

6. Stuff.  We have a lot of “stuff” that we just don’t use.  Some of it is things I’m holding onto for when we have a house and can entertain more (I have lots of baking dishes and serving pieces and chip dishes and dip bowls and things that I just don’t use now because we don’t have a lot of space to have people over).  But a lot of it is stuff I just hold on to because I think I “might” need it “someday.”  Someday hasn’t arrived in the years and years I’ve been hoarding this stuff, so why am I keeping it?  Someone else would surely love to stumble upon it at Goodwill for a dollar, right?

7. Hate-following.  There are a couple of blogs on my Reader that make me roll my eyes regularly and get all judgey.  And I always say, “that’s it, I’m done.”  But it’s like train wreck – I can’t stop looking to see what ridiculous thing or self-important drivel will come next.  That doesn’t make me feel good about myself.  That’s it.  I’m done.  I’m deleting them from my Reader as soon as I finish this post.

8. Over-analysis.  This is one of my biggest problems.  I turn things over and over and over in my head, until something that may have started off small and inconsequential is so big in my mind that it ruins my day or causes doubt about something I have no business doubting.  I don’t know how to stop doing this.  Yet another thing to add to the growing list for my counselor.

9. So many sweets.  When it comes to weight loss (well, weight gain, I guess, is more accurate), sweets are my biggest downfall.  I’ve already started (with David’s agreement and encouragement (“When was the last time I bought junk food at the grocery store?”)) cutting back on the “treats” I buy at the store so that I don’t have them in the house.  This is not the same thing as declaring “No more sweets ever,” it’s just a way of making myself make more deliberate choices about what I put in my mouth instead of reaching for something sweet because it’s easy and it’s there.  I need to keep this up.

10. Career angst.  I may be having a mid-life crisis early, but I’m not sure I want to be a lawyer anymore.  I don’t know what to do about that, really, because what else would I be?  It might just be *this* job, or it might be *any* job – we did discuss several times recently about my depression, didn’t we?  Add it to the list.

11. I cannot think of one single thing more, so I’m using #11 on something I do want more of in 2011 – friendship.  I want to take more time with old friends and try to make new friends as well.  The latter will take me out of my comfort zone, so I expect there will be some resistance and procrastination in trying to make this happen, but I really do want to put this out there so I can hold myself accountable.

What about you guys?  Anything you don’t need in your life in 2011?


4 thoughts on “Reverb10: Day 11 – 11 Things

  1. Nice list! I especially love your idea of “hate following.” Never thought of that before, but, of course! And I’d love to see your 11 things to add in 2011 list, too!

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