Tag: Hodge Podge

Uncategorized

Crash

Melanie

“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”
— real statement on an accident claim form, borrowed from Funny Insurance Claims

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Tuesday programming to bring you this breaking news update:

1218071542resize.jpg

Seriously? I’ve had my car exactly five weeks today, and some jackass stops IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD to wave at his friends on the corner, causing three cars behind him to stop short, which resulted in my hitting the guy in front of me. I’m fine – a little achy, and my head hurts, but that may be from the crying I did at the scene at first as well as the stress and frustration of being in an accident, so I’m keeping an eye on it and will definitely head to the emergency room if I start to feel worse. My brother has assured me that it’s a concussion, not whiplash, where you sometimes go to sleep and don’t wake up, so that’s comforting. The other driver is also fine, but achy as well, he said.

Unfortunately, I was the third car – I’m never “lucky” enough to be the one who gets rear-ended, I’m always the one doing the rear-ending (shut it, dirty girls) – and the jackass didn’t get hit or stay behind after the accident, so I’m on the hook for it.

I hit a Mercedes. The last guy I rear-ended (2005) was driving a Mercedes. I’m sensing a rivalry between my Saturns and all Mercedeses in my path. But the driver, a young guy, could not have been nicer, especially after a witness (who was in car #1 that had to stop short) came back to the scene after having trailed the jackass and gotten his plate number and make/model of his car and explained what happened. She also waited with us for the police and offered to speak to our insurance companies as well. The friends the jackass was waving to didn’t bother to stick around as witnesses, which is no surprise, I suppose, but still sucks.

We called the police, and the officer was a bit of jerk at first, but mellowed out by the end. After some ersatz CSI-ing, he determined from my skid marks that I was only going about 20 miles an hour when I hit the brakes. As you can see from the picture, the damage honestly isn’t that bad, I’m just pissed because I love my car so much and driving a car that has body damage makes me feel like a loser. The Mercedes has similar damage on its rear bumper – you can tell how hard I hit the brakes because of how high the damage is on my bumper and how low it is on his.

1218071543dresize.jpg

So, boo. I called the insurance company and filed the claim. I gave them the jackass’s info and the witness’s name and number, and we’ll see if they do anything with it. I just know my rate is going to go up, which bites, and it’s going to be a pain trying to get this fixed before the weekend – I’m going to Richmond Friday night, but I think my radiator is leaking because of the accident, so I might have to get a rental to drive that far. Thankfully, my boss is very understanding, so I have the morning off (and the day, if I need it) to get the car to the body shop for an estimate. Hopefully the adjuster will come soon and I can get everything taken care of quickly. And, on the bright side (it is Tuesday, after all), no one was hurt, the guy I hit and the witness were lovely people, the damage is not extensive, and I have good insurance.

Your regularly scheduled programming will return tomorrow.

Uncategorized

Things to Be Happy About, Vol. 6

Melanie

There is no duty we so underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy, we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.
— Robert Louis Stevenson

So let’s delve into my bag of tricks (or Happy Notebook, as it were) and see what we come up with this week, shall we?

1. tree branches covered with ice
2. finally getting the courage to start a conversation with that cute Spanish guy you followed halfway across Salamanca
3. a down-to-the-wire sporting event [not unlike Monday’s Patriots-Ravens game, even if it did turn out the wrong way]
4. winning a game of Scrabble against your grandma for the first time [my grandma is a serious Scrabble player, and she does not go in for any of that let-them-win-because-they’re-kids stuff, so the first time I won, it was a big deal]
5. singing a duet in a big concert with your best friend
6. Polaroid cameras
7. changing leaves against a bright blue sky
8. auctions [I don’t know about where you live, but in Central PA where my parents live, auctions are prime people-watching venues, and you’ve never seen people spend so much money on a basket in your life]
9. Grand Central Station

What else is new? Well, my boss just announced today that I and each of my co-workers get a day off every week for the rest of the year, including this week, so that’s pretty cool. We’re calling it “a day on which you report to work elsewhere, and your assignments are at your discretion” because he can’t really give us the day off, but he still wants to reward us for our kick-ass productivity. It’s code. Shhh. Of course, I’m the juniorest of all my co-workers, so I got last dibs on the days I wanted, and it’s kind of annoying to have off on a Tuesday or a Thursday because you can’t make a long weekend out of it, but I’ll take it.

Sunday, I’ve been invited to my boss’s house for brunch, and according to his latest email, “this would be the perfect time to have our annual round-robin gift exchange.” Good holy god, I hate those things. If this is one of those White Elephant things where you pick a gift and open it, then the next person can either pick an unwrapped gift or steal the gift you already opened, I might cry. No matter what I buy, I always feel I’ve contributed the inferior gift, and I hate the “stealing” part of the whole thing; it makes me uncomfortable. I’d so much rather pull a name from a hat and just buy for that person. So, the limit is $20, and there are 6 of us participating – 4 women (including myself), ranging in age from 26 to 50, and two men, one who’s 25 and the other (my boss) who’s in his late 50s. What the hell do I buy? I’m thinking wine glasses from Pier One. Any other ideas?

Speaking of Christmas, I still have not started shopping, so that’s kind of stressing me out. I have multiple items in my Amazon shopping cart, I just haven’t pulled the trigger and purchased them yet because some people (who probably don’t even read this) haven’t bothered to send me Christmas lists, so I can’t be sure if I’ve chosen wisely or not. In years past, I’ve been finished by now and on to wrapping them, but since I have to work for a living these days, the time seems to have evaporated much more quickly than I anticipated. Anyone else not finished or not started yet? Make me feel better by commenting, please.

I went down to Richmond this weekend to see my niece and nephew (and my brother and sister-in-law, but who am I kidding? Bring on the babies). I’ll tell you what, there’s nothing like spending time with people under 5 to make you forget your troubles, that’s for sure. I laughed more on Saturday with the two of them than I probably have in the past month at home. I adore them beyond all reason, and just as soon as I come up with fake names for them, you can be sure I’ll bore you to tears with tales of their abundant cuteness.

Uncategorized

Weekend Update

Melanie

That is the best – to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
— Gloria Vanderbilt

The “date” was a success! We went to see Lisa Lampanelli at the Warner Theater in D.C. last night, and I laughed my ass off! She didn’t tell a single joke I can repeat in polite company; I mean, the political-correctness factor was non-existent. I spent a good deal of time thinking, “Oh my god, I can’t believe she just said that! Holy crap, and I laughed at that! What is wrong with me?” But it was all in good fun, and, as Hot Wings would say, it’s funny because it’s true. I haven’t laughed so hard since I can’t remember when, and it was fantastic.

Afterwards we went to a bar for a couple drinks and just talked; there were 7 of us, 5 from work, plus a husband and a sister. It was good company, and I’m starting to feel like I might have found a place where I fit here. That’s my biggest struggle whenever I start something new. It took me until the beginning of second year in law school to find it there; first year was such a struggle for me, personally. After last night, I’m hopeful that it won’t take me quite as long here.

I’ve been a busy bee today. I love weekends; I get so much accomplished. During the week, I get home around 6:15, go to the gym for 45 minutes, come home, make and eat dinner, then watch TV or screw around online til 10 or so, then read and go to bed. I don’t ever feel like I have time to do stuff, so everything that needs doing gets done on the weekends.

Today I went to the DMV to finally get my Virginia driver’s license. You’re supposed to do it within 30 days of moving, and I’ve been here three months. What can I say? And it only took an hour and a half. Then I took my car to be inspected so I can register it here, since I’m planning to stay in Virginia forever (or at least until love or wanderlust leads me elsewhere). Again, you’re supposed to do it within 30 days of moving; good thing they don’t really enforce that rule. My car failed both the emission inspection and the safety inspection. My check engine light is on, and that . . . means the computer in my car isn’t talking to something else in my car, so they can’t be sure the emission information is correct. Or something. I don’t know.

My horn died an abrupt death about two months ago, which is why my car failed the safety inspection. I noticed it wasn’t working, and Karen, who was visiting, clued me in that I’d probably blown a fuse. She also found the fuse box in my car and gave me a new fuse from the well-stocked glove compartment of her van (I should maybe learn something from this). I honked the horn, and the new fuse blew immediately. We put in a larger amp fuse, and when I honked the horn again, my poor car gave the most anemic sounding beep you’ve ever heard in your life. Like a dying goose, only one who’s trying not to disturb the other, living geese with his dying. It’s so pathetic. It does nothing to deter the jackasses around here who regularly cut people off. I have to get it fixed it so I can honk properly and stop giving people the finger instead. (I kid.)

I also put together the desk and bookshelf that I was so happy to see delivered on Tuesday, and can I just say, I LOVE THEM. SO MUCH. I’ve got them both exactly where I want them, and I am typing away at my new desk, and then I look over at my bookshelf, with my barware finally out of the box and on display and my artfully arranged photographs, and I could just die of contentedness. Things like this make me so happy for some reason. Would you like to see it? Of course you would. I don’t believe in digital cameras, though, as you may know, so you’ll have to settle for the online catalog picture. Mine are all black, and it looks so great, even if I do say so myself. They’re set up just like this, right next to each other, except in reverse order.

I did a number of other things today as well that I won’t bore you with, but trust me when I say you’d be impressed with my industriousness. I’m about to make dinner, watch the Friday Night Lights I taped last night, and then I’m ordering Knocked Up from Comcast on Demand (which is my favorite invention) and preparing to laugh my ass off again. At this rate, weigh in on Tuesday should be amazing.