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They See Me Rollin’

Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.
— Francoise Sagan

Today’s Writing Group prompt: Talk about a car trip you’ve been on. Do you like to travel by car? Do you prefer to drive or be a passenger?

We drive to and from Detroit about twice a year.  We always take David’s car (since it’s his family we go to see) and he usually drives the whole way.  Car trips make me tired; I’m usually asleep before we hit Pennsylvania (we come from Northern Virginia). We play this license plate game that we picked up at the LL Bean in Freeport on our way home from our honeymoon to pass the time.  David thinks it’s unfair to have to suspend the game when I nap, so the deal is, he keeps track of the ones he saw while I was asleep and then if I find them twice before he finds them again, I get them.  Otherwise, he gets them.  He always wins.

I love taking car trips, especially by myself.  I sing as loud as I can to my iPod and car dance and don’t care what anyone around me thinks.

I’ve never been on a “movie road trip,” you know, you and your girls with the top down, music up, back seat full of snacks and drinks.  But I do own The Bad Girl’s Guide to the Open Road, which I’ve read cover to cover.  That counts, right?  Maybe when we turn 50, me and Aimee and Karen will ditch our husbands and kids and finally take that trip.

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Just Be

. . . [We] watched the half-moon out the window while we creaked back and forth in the rhythm that all women know from secrets whispered to their genes at the time of their conception.
— from Range of Motion, by Elizabeth Berg

Yesterday’s Writing Group prompt:  Where or when have you felt the most relaxed and at peace?

This is a hard one for me.  It’s not easy for me to relax; my mind runs a million miles a minute with things that need to be done, I worry about so many things, and I hardly ever let myself just BE.  I’ve been in the middle of massages and had to catch myself getting anxious about stuff and just repeat, “Relax, relax, relax.”

Maybe the best times, though, have been when my niece and nephew were tiny babies and I would watch them for the evening while my brother and sister-in-law went out.  I loved rocking them in the dark after feeding them, singing to them while they fell asleep.  I would keep them in my arms long past when they were finally asleep, just watching their sweet faces and their little chests moving up and down.  There is just no feeling like that in the world, is there?

Elliot - June 2004
Elliot – June 2004
Adam - January 2006
Adam – January 2006
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Closing Credits

What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? – it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.
— from On the Road, by Jack Kerouac

Today’s Writing Group prompt: Which 5 songs would you like played at your funeral and why?

This was my contribution to the list of prompts.  I’m not sure why I came up with it, but I’ve been thinking about it since I submitted it.  Here’s what I’ve got:

1. Wonder, by Natalie Merchant

Yes, I used this in the theme song post, but there you go – if you talked to people who knew me during a particular period of my life, they’d tell you that this song is mine.  I want it sing me out.

2. Seasons of Love, by the cast of Rent

This song, man.  The lyrics are gorgeous, and the music just gives me chills.

3. Angel, by Sarah McLachlan

I know what this song is about, but I don’t care.  I think it’s beautiful, and I find it so comforting.  I’d hope others would as well.

4. If I Should Fall Behind, by Bruce Springsteen

For David.

We swore we’d travel, darlin’, side by side
We’d help each other stay in stride
But each lover’s steps fall so differently
But I’ll wait for you
And if I should fall behind
Wait for me

5. All Good Things, by Jackson Brown

And I want you to remember/All wild deeds live on/All good times/All good friends

Indeed.

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You Are Here

Regular maps have few surprises: their contour lines reveal where the Andes are, and are reasonably clear. More precious, though, are the unpublished maps we make ourselves, of our city, our place, our daily world, our life; those maps of our private world we use every day; here I was happy, in that place I left my coat behind after a party, that is where I met my love; I cried there once, I was heartsore; but felt better round the corner once I saw the hills of Fife across the Forth, things of that sort, our personal memories, that make the private tapestry of our lives.
— from Love Over Scotland, by Alexander McCall Smith

Today’s Writing Group prompt: Show us a specific Google map location and tell us about its significance to you.

I have a good one:


That’s the Praça do Comércio in Lisbon, Portugal. Go ahead, zoom in.  I’ll wait.  See that statue of the guy on the horse?  The base of that is where I ended what I laughingly refer to as the worst day of my life.

When I studied in Salamanca, Spain, during my junior year of college, we had a 10-day mid-fall break.  My dad had colleagues in Lisbon, and they were kind enough to let me stay with them for part of the break.  I took the train from Madrid. (On the train on the way back, in the middle of the night, I met some Spaniards on their way to Paris to work in restaurants.  They told me they loved me and asked me to come with them.  God, I love Europe.)  I arrived on a weekend, but my first weekday there, my hosts had to work.  Manuela dropped me off near the water, not far from that statue, and I commenced my adventure.

At first I wandered around near the water, looking in shops and people watching.  Around lunchtime, like any good American abroad, I found a Burger King.  In my defense, I don’t speak Portuguese, which is shockingly unlike Spanish, and the Portuguese are big on seafood, which I don’t eat.  I figured, on my own, BK was a safe bet.  I had a Whopper with cheese, fries, and a drink, just like I would have if I’d been home.  Afterwards, I hopped on a bus.  I don’t remember my destination now, but it doesn’t matter anyway.  I’d never make it there.

As I was riding the bus, my stomach began to rumble.  Clearly, Portuguese Burger King did not agree with me.  I thought about trying to get off the bus, but it was so crowded and I didn’t really know where I was.  I concentrated on taking deep breaths and trying not to think about what must have been in my burger.  Um, that didn’t work.  I threw up on the bus.  I was in a window seat, and I vomited on the floor by the wall.  I don’t know if anyone noticed, at least at first.  At any rate, no one asked if I was ok.  I kept my head down, too embarrassed to look at anyone or get up to get off the bus for fear of being discovered.  I can’t remember, but I’m sure I was crying hot tears of shame, too.

Stop after stop after stop, and no one helped me.  Finally, the bus stopped for good.  We’d reached the end of the line.  After everyone else got off the bus, the driver announced more loudly that it was the end, so I looked up, looked out the window, and realized I had no idea where I was or how far we’d come from where I’d gotten on.  I was utterly and completely lost.  I got off the bus and tried to get my bearings.

I started walking in what seemed like the direction of the water, but I really had no idea.  No one I ran in to seemed to speak English, and I didn’t even know the name of the location I was trying to reach and I didn’t have the Portuguese words to describe it.  I had no map of the city and no Portuguese-English (or even Portuguese-Spanish) dictionary.  I kept walking, but I was in a totally residential neighborhood and there weren’t very many people out.  At one point, I ran into some police officers and asked them for help, but we just had a complete language barrier.  It was comical in its inefficiency.

By this time, it was starting to get dark and I was starting to get worried.  This was, of course, in the days before ubiquitous cell phones (1996), and even if I’d had one, I couldn’t have told Manuela where I was.  After what seemed like forever, I finally stumbled into an area that seemed familiar from my visit to the city the previous day.  It was a street lined with shops and restaurants.  I went into several and mimed a phone with my thumb and pinky.  The first couple of people all shook their heads no, but the last one nodded and pointed to the back.  I nearly collapsed in relief as I put a coin into the slot and dialed Manuela’s number.

She picked up, worried because she hadn’t heard from me.  I told her I had been lost all day and didn’t really know where I was but that I thought we were close to where we’d been the day before.  She told me to ask the waiter for directions to the Praça do Comércio and wait there and she would come find me.  I managed to make out the directions, which turned out to basically be, “Go straight down the street til you see the guy on the horse.  You can’t miss it.”  I sat at the base of the statue, resting, catching my figurative breath, and scanning the cars that passed for Manuela’s.

All of a sudden, a tall, young African guy sidled up to me and sat down.  He started making conversation, asking me where I was from and what I was doing in Lisbon.  Then, out of the blue, he asked, “Would you like to come back to my apartment and smoke pot?”  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  Before I could think of how to Just Say No, Manuela pulled up in front of us.

“That’s my ride.”

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In Character

An ordinary man can . . . surround himself with two thousand books . . . and thence forward have at least one place in the world in which it is possible to be happy.
— Augstine Birrell
Yesterday’s Writing Group prompt: What character would you like to be from a work of fiction?
Whoa. This is hard. I read a lot. Like, a lot. And I read even more when I was younger, so I’ve read a lot of fiction in my life.
I love Laura Ingalls from the Little House books. When I was a kid I read them all over and over, and I loved imagining Laura’s life on the frontier. I wanted to make maple candy on the snow and help Pa build the smokehouse for the ham and run my hands over the bolts of calico Laura and Mary picked for their new dresses.
Another book that immediately came to mind was In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson. I haven’t read this book in probably more than 20 years, but I still remember Shirley Temple Wong and the summer she spends listening to the (then-Brooklyn) Dodgers on the radio. Her family has recently emigrated from China to New York City, and the book chronicles her efforts to fit in and learn a new language. She feels a kinship to Jackie Robinson, the first black man to play in the major leagues, because she feels they share the same struggles.
Cannie, in Good in Bed, by Jennifer Weiner is another favorite. The highest compliment I can pay Jennifer Weiner (and I’ve told her this, actually) is this: In the book, Cannie gets unexpectedly pregnant, and much of the story is navigating the pregnancy while dealing with an ex-boyfriend, a weight problem, and a difficult family. I read this book at a very hard time in my life, shortly after I lost my hearing. At the time, when I slept, I slept HARD. I would read this book every night before bed, and there was more than one morning I woke up entirely surprised to find that I myself was not actually pregnant. That’s how deeply this book worked its way into me. A lot of people dismiss Weiner as chick lit, but that severely underestimates her and does not do justice to the kind of books she actually writes.
Also, I basically feel an affinity for every protagonist Elizabeth Berg ever created.