Month: July 2008

It’s a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.
— Andrew Jackson

This sign sits alongside Route 15 somewhere between Harrisburg and the northern border of Pennsylvania. I see it whenever I go visit my parents, and it makes me smile every time.

Old men are fond of giving good advice, to console themselves for no longer being in a position to give bad examples.
— Francois la Rochefoucauld

I’ve been holding on to this for a little while now, since Lyrically first did it back in April, and I thought I’d go ahead and share it with you now. Remember this spoken word “song” that was popular about 10 years ago (maybe longer)? The words are taken from an imagined commencement address written by a Chicago Tribune writer. Lyrically gave her take on it, and commenters offered some suggestions as well, and I started my own list with the intent to share it here. And here we are.

Never leave home without Chapstick. When the world gets to be too much, spend time with people under the age of 5. Try to laugh at something every day. Sing, whenever, wherever, even if it’s only to yourself. Life is too short to eat fat-free cheese. Read for pleasure – it’s the best way to learn new things and expand your vocabulary. Own a cat, especially if you live alone; it helps to have something to take care of. Always buy what kids are selling at card tables on their front lawns. Smile at strangers – it doesn’t cost anything and it might brighten someone’s day. Always bring socks or stockings with you when you go shoe shopping (otherwise, you’ll end up like me, with multiple pairs of shoes that are *just* too big). Diet Dr. Pepper is the only diet soda that really does taste like the original. When you move to a new neighborhood, find the local public library and get a card as soon as you can. Learn to drive stick. Don’t be afraid to ask questions – how else are you supposed to get the answers? Get unlimited text messaging on your cell phone.

Never wear open-toed shoes without painting your toenails. When making macaroni and cheese from a box, mix the milk with the cheese powder first, and then add it to the macaroni. Floss – your dentist is right (and my dentist is hot!). Be friends with your siblings. Always try to be fair, even when fighting. Don’t let kind things go unsaid. Get to know your grandparents. Recycle, recycle, recycle. Send thank you notes; especially these days, you’ll stand out from the rest, and it’s just the right thing to do. You are never alone, even when you feel like you are. Study abroad in college – you won’t be sorry. Read the newspaper. Learn to love a sport, it’s a great way to connect with strangers. Don’t play games with people’s hearts – be honest about your feelings. Go places by yourself; you don’t always need a wingman. Make your bed every day – it takes 2 minutes and makes a huge difference. Credit cards are not worth the trouble; avoid them if you can. Exercise is good for your body and your mind – make it a habit, but find something you love to do.

Go to therapy – where else can you find someone who’ll listen to you for an hour and not expect to talk about themselves in return? When someone asks you to be in their wedding, only say yes if you can honestly stand up for the relationship. Take lots of pictures. Shave your underarms in both directions; you’ll get a closer, longer lasting shave. The only way you won’t get what you want is if you stop trying to get it. Eat breakfast every day. Never stay with someone who doesn’t believe in you. Follow through when you say you’re going to do something. Share what you have with others, whether it’s money, time, talent, wisdom, or friendship. Be someone’s secret admirer.

So there you go. What’s your advice?

A hotdog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz.
— Humphrey Bogart

Last night my friend Tigers Fan and I headed up to Baltimore to see his hometown Detroit Tigers take on the Baltimore Orioles. I was psyched, because I’d never been to Camden Yards for a baseball game,* despite having gone to college in Baltimore and having lived there after graduation. Also because, as you might have heard me say once or twice, I love baseball and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be on a summer night than at the ballpark.

We left NoVa around 5, which was a mistake, because then we sat in traffic for a hundred years and only made it to the stadium about 20 minutes before game time. But since it was my first time there, we walked around a bit first, and this is what I saw:

This is the warehouse that sits behind right field. It’s iconic in Baltimore, and it makes me happy.

Between the warehouse and right field is a promenade, with lots of concessions and stuff.  Here, apparently, you have to be careful you don’t get knocked on the head by a home run!  In fact, there are plaques spotted all over the sidewalk in the shape of baseballs with dates and names of the players who hit home runs out there.  I wish I’d taken a picture of one.  Only one person – Ken Griffey, Jr. – has ever hit a ball that actually hit the warehouse.

This was my first glimpse of the field.  I’m kind of short, but Tigers Fan is nearly a foot taller than I am, so he could see significantly more from this vantage point than I could.  He said, “There appear to be some people in period garb down there.”  And, indeed, there were:

More specifically, they were the Yorktown Fife and Drum Corp, and they performed the National Anthem.

Then we headed to our seats.  Baseball tickets are one thing I don’t mind spending money on, and they’re cheaper at Camden Yards than they are at Nationals Park.  We had club level seats, which is code for “fancy.”

So fancy that you don’t even have to go get your own food and beer if you don’t want – they bring it right to you!  (And now that I say it like that, I realize they’ll do that for you in the cheap seats too – the beer vendors and hot dog guys – but this was way better: you just wave your orange menu and someone comes and takes your order – and there’s lots to choose from – and then they go and get it for you and bring it back.  How cool is that?)

Here’s the view from our (larger than average, comfy) seats:

The game itself was exciting – several home runs and lead changes and a near come-from-behind win for the Os in the bottom of the 9th, but in the end, the Tigers held on to win 6-5, and Tigers Fan was a happy guy.

* I have been to Camden Yards before – in fact, I’ve been in the Os dugout and on the field and all around the inside of the stadium.  In college, we had one of our formals there, and we got to go on tours of the park. But this was better.  Way better.

I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.
— Ellen DeGeneres

I work out regularly – running, walking, elliptical, and now, with summer, swimming. I work out 5-6 days a week usually, and generally do upper body weights three times a week. My arms look pretty good these days, if I do say so myself. I realized I was neglecting my lower body and abs, though, because I hate the exercises and was only doing them once a week (abs) if ever (legs). Lately, though, it’s become clear to me that I need to do something extra to change my shape, so a couple of weeks ago, I ordered Jackie Warner’s One-on-One Training with Jackie DVD. I’ve never watched her show on Bravo, but I’d heard good things about her DVD, and I haven’t been disappointed.

The DVD has three separate 20-minute workouts – upper body, lower body, and core. I bought it with the intention of doing the whole video as one workout, but it turns out that might kill me, so I’ve taken to doing each part once a week, before or after another piece of my workout (running, swimming, etc), and still doing upper body weights at the gym once a week. Jackie combines strength training with one-minute cardio intervals, and each strength exercise is done for about a minute as well, which is a nice way to keep things moving. The total length of each workout is perfect too – just when I think I can’t do any more, the 20 minutes is up. I still can’t do all of the exercises for the entire time she does (well, not her, because she’s busy “checking the form” of her companions, who do the majority of the work), but hey – baby steps.

She has four of her trainers from her health club along with her, and each one is featured for a segment in each workout. The three girls are all big-busted and tan, and half-naked, of course (I think it’s supposed to motivate you, but I get distracted wondering how they don’t fall out of their skimpy tops) and I just know their six-packs have been given added definition via airbrushing, though I can’t prove it. The lone guy keeps his baseball hat pulled low over his eyes and doesn’t smile much. He is also fully clothed. I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that Jackie is a lesbian. But I digress.

For the ab workout, the male trainer demonstrates the more advanced versions of the exercises, and one of the girls demonstrates the lower impact versions, which is a nice touch. Jackie regularly reminds you to focus on your form, which I need, because I tend to get lazy as I get toward the end of an exercise. She’s encouraging, but not overly chipper, and she explains things in a way that’s easy to understand. Overall, I’m very happy with the workout I get, but I wonder if I’m doing the ab exercises wrong because, although they hurt like a mother while I’m doing them, I’m never sore the next day (and maybe that’s a good thing, I don’t know). The upper body workout reaches areas I’ve apparently neglected in my own arm workouts, especially the back (all you’ll need is hand weights). The first time I did the lower body workout, I nearly fell walking down the stairs of my apartment afterwards because my thighs felt like jelly. In a good way.

Anyway, it’s cheap on Amazon – $9, plus shipping (I think I paid $12 total), and it’s a fun, interesting way to spice up your workout life, if you need something to kick start you or motivate you to keep going. I’m enjoying it, so I wanted to share it with you. If you check it out, let me know what you think!